Greetings, Beloved Ones.
There are many instances of emotional pain that one lives while in human form. Starting from a small child until the day you pass, you have many opportunities to experience situations that hurt your feelings in a myriad of ways. Taking the pain you feel in these situations (instead of focusing on the pain) and allowing your perspective to shift to one of knowledge is very important, and one you may not have learned from your parents while growing up.
When you are a child, you do not have the emotional maturity to understand that people make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes lead to others’ feelings being hurt. As you experience yourself making the same type of mistake and thus you have the opportunity to develop Wisdom.
We acknowledge the pain you felt during the experience and We tried to support you as best possible, and as appropriate. Eventually you will experience situations where you hurt others’ feelings instead of yours being the hurt feelings. Would it not be more conducive to your life to be able to look at a situation from a perspective where you can admit everyone is human, no one is perfect, and thus everyone can and will make mistakes that hurt others. Knowledge comes from being able to look at experiences where you have experienced pain and acknowledge that your position, your side of the situation is not the only one, and you make an effort to understand the other person’s position.
When you allow that other humans have the same right as you do to have hurt feelings and act upon those hurt feelings, you can then develop compassion for them. You do not have to allow others to hurt you repeatedly just because you can understand their position or mindset. You are always responsible for your life and you are the one who makes your Free Will choices.
Being a ‘doormat’ for someone else to abuse emotionally, mentally, or physically is not a position We would choose for you to experience, but We cannot stop you if this is your choice. Allowing someone to abuse you, even if you see their perspective, is not healthy for you. The goal is to recognize with compassion that someone else may be hurting or they may not have the emotional maturity to understand that their behavior hurts others and then take appropriate steps to take care of yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
A calm (if possible) conversation with the individual who hurt your feelings to ask them why they did the actions that hurt you is an excellent way to start. That person may already regret what he/she did and is only looking out for a way to express their apology to you. This is the ‘best case scenario’ and will allow you to both express your feelings and the mindset you each had when entering into the situation to begin with. Sharing can lead to mutual respect and a commitment to act differently if and when a similar situation arises.
Often the best case scenario is not the one that is experienced. Many humans choose to be reactionary and to blame others’ when the person shares that he or she had hurt their feelings. It is best to recognize that this person is emotionally immature, either because they were raised in this manner and not taught to grow this aspect of themselves, or because they choose to stay this way instead of maturing for whatever purpose they feel benefits them.
It is also a sad fact that many people are unable to find the joy in being human, and develop behavioral patterns that are unhealthy to themselves and those around them. This is where the Knowledge you have gained about the person becomes Wisdom as you apply it to your interactions with this person. Just as you would look at a situation where you were the adult caring for a child and being responsible for keeping them safe, you should look at the interactions you have with people who hurt your feelings and recognize how you can keep yourself safe.
As you grow and develop your own emotional maturity, others’ opinions and thoughts will have minimal to no impact upon you, as you have become and individual who loves yourself and takes care of yourself in a healthy way, regardless of others’ whims and behaviors. Scientists perform test after test to verify that the results will be the same and this is considered to be logical. They do the scientific test and the result is the same when the same situation is repeated.
You can do the same application of logic towards your emotional health and welfare. You step back and analyze the person’s behavior and you take appropriate steps to protect yourself.
An example. You have a friend who is fun to go out with, but once she has consumed a few glasses of wine, her behavior changes and she becomes rude to those around her. She lashes out at her friends and says hurtful things which ruins the evening for everyone. The next day she says it was ‘the wine’ talking and that she did not mean what she said.
The next time you have an interaction with her and she drinks, what you observe will provide you with Knowledge about her behavior. If her behavior is the same, then you have gained in Knowledge that your friend chooses to drink alcohol even though she knows she says hurtful things to others when she drinks. This is Knowledge in action. If the person (Y) drinks (X) and the behavior is always (C) then Y+X=C. If you remove X and the person behaves in a manner consistent with Y, then you know her ugly words and actions come from her taking in X.
The Wise thing for you to do now and in the future if you continue to want to associate with her is to avoid situations where she has access to alcoholic beverages, or the social situations take place alcohol is not present. Thus no one is subjected to her ugliness and rudeness because she has not drank. She has refused to take responsibility for her behavior and so now you create the environment that will protect you.
This is a simple situation. We realize that the human experience can and will throw things more complex your way; if you remember this situation and apply the X and the Y and the Z to your situation, it will help remove emotions from the situation and allow you to examine what took place, thus you will gain Knowledge. Wisdom is the act of applying your Knowledge to situations. Individual personalities will vary as will backgrounds, but when you use Knowledge to build your life you can eliminate unnecessary situations that hurt your feelings.
We know, if only life were this simple. The most significant part of all interactions between two people is whether you have matured emotionally. Emotional Maturity is similar to physical maturity. As you grow older physically, your body develops from that of a baby to an adult. At the same time, your emotional capacity and understanding should grow from that of a baby to an adult. As you grow emotionally and develop Knowledge and Wisdom along the way, you will discover Trust.
Many situations you will have zero control over in your life. As a child you are subject to the vagaries of your parents. You cannot stop them from their chosen actions, but you can learn from them. As you become an adult, you then experience your own life situations which provide you with Knowledge and Wisdom. Knowledge and Wisdom allows you to understand that all things take place as lessons to help you grow, for that is the True purpose behind your human existence.
You may be wracked with regret and shame for your past actions, but it is up to you to review those situations with the eye of Knowledge. Put your understanding of X+Y=Z into reviewing your past and develop your Knowledge of Self. Use Wisdom to accept your past behaviors where you hurt others, and allow yourself to see who truly you were in that part of your life. You are the only person responsible for your actions and non-actions. Wisdom will allow you to use those past situations of shame and regret to grow emotionally in new ways. Remove your feelings from the situations and look clinically at what you have done and why you did them.
Knowledge will also lead you to determine what behaviors you currently exhibit that are hurting those around you. No human is perfect, and as a result of that imperfection all humans hurt other people’s feelings. Review each incident as the scientist who can say
X +Y+ Z. Wisdom will help you accept those current behaviors and assist you with changing them to where you don’t hurt others.
You can, however, choose to stay stuck in the adolescent phase and not take responsibility for your actions and how you hurt others. This too, is a choice you have the ability to make. We Angelics will still Love you. Those around you may not, but We will always Love you and We respect your Free Will choices.
When you review past situations where your feelings were hurt, Beloved Ones, for that is what emotional maturity will help you do, and you look at these experiences from the perspective that what the person did had nothing to do with you, and that their behavior is the result of their Free Will choices, then that perspective will shift to Trust. Trust occurs when you realize that all things happen for a reason, even if you cannot see the reason clearly, at that point in time or even at all.
Many things are taken into consideration by the Creator when your Life Plan is reviewed. Every experience you will ever have has already been seen by the Creator as well as every choice you could ever make. When you realize that this is So, then you can develop your Trust that there is nothing that falls outside of the Plan.
For those individuals who say, “It is God’s Will that X happened” to sooth over a negative situation, We Angelics say to you the Creator reviewed all that can happen and your life experience was approved. The Creator does not prevent anyone from hurt or pain because then a major growth impetus would be removed and stagnation would occur. The better way to say it is, “The Creator approved your experiences to happen”.
Part of each experience is an opportunity for you to learn to love yourself and to value yourself. While not every scenario is in your control, how you react to it is. How you react and how you is always your Free Will. Now it is up to you to use your Free Will and decide how you are going to live your life which is the way it is because your choices from your experiences.
It is never too late to grow. We Angelics are here, and We will support you always. We Love you Unconditionally for We know the bright, loving being that you are when you are in True Form and We see the experiences you have here on the Earth Plane. You are Loved and Valued even when you don’t Love and Value yourself.
Blessings to you, Beloved Ones.
©2016 Julia Knickerbocker ALL RIGHTS RESERVED