The Mirror Effect

Greetings, Beloved Ones.

Have you ever watched someone behave in a manner that irked you?  Irritated you?  Make you so angry that you just wanted to rage at them about their behavior?  Maybe their behavior was self-destructive and you wanted them to care more about themselves.  Maybe they were hurting someone you cared about and you wanted them to stop hurting that person or people.  Maybe that person was being cruel to you and it hurt your feelings.

These responses to destructive behavior are considered very normal and even healthy that you want to protect others or yourself.  But what about those times when the person really did not do “much” but it put you into an emotional frenzy?  Made you felt like shaking them until they understood what they were doing wrong.  Only later, much later and with physical distance did you realize how silly your reaction was and it is quite possible you might have even been so ashamed of your reaction that you keep some distance between you and that person.

There are several reason why you may have felt that way, but one that exists in the common consciousness is called “mirroring”.  This is a situation where someone does something and you have a visceral reaction to that something because you see that “something” as something within you.  And example follows:

Someone new joins your company and you find them objectionable.  Yes, they get their work done on time and in a satisfactory manner.  No, they don’t smell or dress nasty, but your hair raises up every time you see them and your lip curls into a snarl.  The others accept this person just fine and it seems to be only you having a reaction.  

Then, one day, someone casually says in response to the statement that he seemed to be accepted quickly, “oh, he’s just like you, so it really is not unusual that we accepted him.”  But, you protest, that person is careless of others feelings.  He can be downright inconsiderate of others at times too!  You are nothing like that – how can you say that they are alike?

The person smiles sadly and says, “again – he is just like you.  You might want to look in the mirror some day at how you treat people if you don’t like being treated this way.”

Wow.  Does that sting a little?  Yes, you can have moments where someone tells you that you are just like your mother, or father, or sibling and that stings because most people don’t want to think of themselves as a clone of their parent, but for a total stranger who is a JERK to be told to your face that he is just like you?  Outrageous!

But, the wise person waits.  And watches.  And observes the interactions of this person with others.  Maybe you see that yes, this person is careless of others feelings and maybe he IS inconsiderate at times, but he is not a “bad” person.  He just needs to be educated on how to treat others.

The wise person also starts to examine their own behaviors to try to catch those moments when he falls into that category of careless/inconsiderate.  Maybe this wise person decides he wants to be better person that what the others think he is.  So, he begins to emulate behavior that he feels is considerate and kinder.

He stops pushing his way out of the elevator and lets all the women off first.  He tries to be polite instead of abrupt when someone stops him to ask a question.  He allows others to go first in line at the copier instead of using his rank to go first.

Then, something happens that grabs his attention.  That “new” person who irritated him to just look at him?  He does not see him any where.  He does not notice him in the office or on the elevator.  Finally, one day he stops the person who hit him with the truth and asks where that person was and you get pointed to a cube, one among many.

You go by there and you glance in and you see the person who just a month ago you wanted to strangle.  Now, you don’t have any recollection of seeing his face.  Why?  How come you don’t have that same reaction?  

The answer to this story is simple – you changed the behavior you disliked about yourself into something you did like.  Now that person and you do not behave the same any more so you broke the mirror connection between you to.  No connection, no behaviors, no irritation.  Simple.

It may take a few more weeks or even months for your co-workers to realize you have changed, but you are encouraged that at your age you can still make positive changes in your life.

The people who come into your life as mirrors are there because of “acute agreements” made on the soul level between your higher selves.  His higher self and your higher self agreed for this situation to happen so you would each have the opportunity to grow.

The ability and opportunity for growth never stops.  You always have opportunity to change and become the person you instinctively want to become – even to the moment you pass from this Earth plane.  You have to make the decision, however, to make the changes on your own.  Changes you agree to make because someone is manipulating you, coercing you, bribing or threatening you to make will NOT last.

So when you are ready to make changes that YOU want to make they will come a little easier and last longer.  The change may be difficult – very much so if it involves a type of addiction – but remember, you are surrounded by those who Love you and will be here to support you in all that you do.  

This is one example of mirroring.  Take a few moments to examine your life and see if you can recall a situation where you had such a reaction to someone.  If you can, see if you can reflect back on the situation and see if you can apply an honest view in the mirror and see what you needed to see at that time to move forward on the growth path.

Change is always possible if you want it to.  Regardless of anyone else’s support or lack of support.  You are always in charge of your own life and you create your reality – which means you can change it as well if you don’t like it.

Are you where you really want to be?  Are you happy with the way you are?  Or do you need to look in the mirror for a while and see what you can change.

Remember – you are always Loved, Beloved Ones.

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